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| Are you struggling to control your substance use? Read on to find useful tools for sobriety |
Have you found yourself drinking or drugging more heavily
than usual? In isolation? When stressed, depressed, or angry? Blacking out?
Uncomfortable when alcohol/drugs are not around? Guilty about your use? If you answer yes to these questions, you may
have a problem with substance use.
Accepting that you are an addict is an enormous
accomplishment. Many people begin on
this journey with a specific question—“Why me?”
They ponder why in social settings everyone else can stop drinking (or
drugging), but they go home and continue to secretly drink, with a lack of
self-control, which eventually spirals into a vicious cycle of self-loathing and
disgust.
I encourage self-exploration as a means to insight into how
one has developed the disease of addiction, but from my experience, I have
found that no matter the reason that led to addictive behavior, finding the
answer to this initial question does not typically lead to “cured
behavior.” It is rare that a client
says, “Ah ha! I am an addict because I have a family history of addiction, I
self-medicate with alcohol when I feel depressed, and I know that once I have
one drink, I can’t stop….Now that I know this about myself, I just won’t drink anymore.”
Addicts crave instant gratification, so the idea of “one day
at a time” (and in some instances, one minute at a time) can be disheartening. Examining past errors and making amends is an
important aspect of recovery work, but I like to emphasize the significance of
forward, hopeful thinking. Sobriety
means taking back control of your behaviors, and making a choice to abstain (actively denying yourself
alcohol/drugs), which leads to feelings of greater control of your emotions and
relationships.
The hard, frustrating truth is that there is no magic cure to addiction.
Instead of a “cure,” think in terms of a formula! Caroline Knapp, author of Drinking A love Story, once wrote “Discomfort + Drink= No Discomfort,” but
after the initial protection of alcohol wears off (usually after your
relationships fall apart, your work suffers, legal and financial trouble sets
in), the equation becomes “Pain + Drink=
Self-obliteration.”
So now, in terms of recovery, try this formula:
Self-awareness + Psychoeducation + Motivation + Commitment + Coping Skills
+ Social Support= Sobriety
Let me break it down a little for you:
Self-Awareness=
Know your triggers (people, places things) and
red flags to relapse (changes in your
mood, attitude, behavior). Are you
starting to isolate more? Increase in irritability? A shift towards an “I don’t
care” attitude?
Psychoeducation=
Learn about the disease of addiction and how addiction affects the
brain
Motivation= Try
rating your current motivation for recovery on a scale from 1-5 (5= most
motivated). It’s unrealistic to think you will be a 5 everyday. Think of motivation moving in a wave—some
days you will feel confident, other days you may feel drained and hopeless
Commitment= Being
committed to your recovery, even on days when motivation is low or you have intense cravings
Coping Skills= Activities
you can use to redirect your using thoughts, cravings, stress, depression,
anxiety, or other uncomfortable feelings.
These can be
relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing or meditation, or other activities, such as exercise,
playing with a pet, calling a friend, reading a book, etc. One of the hardest parts of early recovery is
changing your old using routine, so try a new hobby or interest that can take
the place of the time you spent drinking/drugging (ex. join a sports league,
pick up gardening, take a class)
Social Support= These
are people in your life with whom you feel you can be honest and truthful, and
who are reliable. Great places to seek out
social support, in addition to family and friends (preferable sober, clean
friends) are
AA or
NA meetings,
Smart Recovery,
individual counseling and/or group therapy.
In a recent substance abuse group that I lead, the topic of
bibliotherapy came up, and many of the clients expressed that reading has been
helpful in abating their struggles throughout the arduous journey of
sobriety. Here are some great books and
an article to read as you tackle your addiction:
Dry: A Memoir by
Augusten Burroughs 
Drinking A Love Story by Caroline Knapp
The Sober Revolution by Sarah Turner & Lucy Rocca
