Is sleeping separately an
omen of distancing and divorce? I believe it can be quite the opposite—it just
depends on your reasons for hitting the sack solo! Sleeping separately doesn’t always signal
trouble in paradise. Perfectly happy and
loving couples may suffer from a lack of sleep.
A poor nights sleep can have
troubling effects on your mood and relationship! When you don’t sleep well, you are more
likely to be irritable, short-tempered, anxious, and susceptible to stress,
making it more likely to get into arguments and lash out at your partner. If you’ve ever had a night of tossing and
turning, you know it’s difficult to focus, be productive, and keep your eyes
open the next day!
Research has found that sleep deprivation leads to serious effects on mood. A University of Pennsylvania study reports that participants who only got 4.5 hours of sleep per night for one week were more stressed, sad, angry, and mentally exhausted. When they returned to normal sleep, they reported a dramatic boost in mood!
Sleep Problem or Relationship Problem? |
Everyone has different sleep
habits, and even if you have found your perfect match, it does not mean you and
your partner are harmonious sleepers.
Sleeping Challenges:
SnoringFirmness of bedTemperature of roomFinding a comfortable sleeping positionActivities before bed (ex. reading, music, tv)
If you and your partner are
struggling to sleep together, you may want to consider separate rooms. Now your gut reaction may be “We don’t have real problems,” “Doesn’t sleeping
separately lead to break up/divorce?” or “The only time we have alone together
is before bed.” This isn't an issue of banning your partner to the couch due to marital problems! You must distinguish between relationship issues and sleep
issues. Initially, it may sound
counterintuitive, but to optimize your relationship health, you need to
optimize your sleep health!
Differentiate between a sleep problem and a relationship
problem.
If you are generally very
happy, satisfied, and content in your relationship, but sleeping is the thorn
in your side, it may be time to make some changes
So how can you be successful
in your relationship while sleeping separately?
Prioritize cuddling and affection (in bed, on the couch, while make
dinner) the same as you would if you were sleeping in the same bed. Continue to make time for pillow talk—you
know, intimate conversation (which doesn’t have to come after sex) when you lay
next to each other and talk about your relationship or even the events of your
day. You can still climb into bed
together, but one person can retreat to his or her own room when the pillow
talk drifts off and you’ve had your cuddle needs met.
Successful couples keep their
connection strong through affection and communication, so when it’s time to
love each other during the day, be intimate and loving, and when it’s time to
sleep, actually sleep! You may find yourself even happier in your relationship
when you get a good night’s rest.
Check out a featured story on Good Morning America for more
on this topic!
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